Californian woman, Kathy Murray narrates how she saved her marriage through the approach of a controversial book called The Surrendered Wife.
Written by Laura Doyle,the book tells women to stop nagging their partners and give reasons to treat them with more respect.
“The first time I married I was divorced by 26. I remarried at 32 but soon found myself sleeping in the guest room. My husband and I fought all the time.”
She added that conflicts stemmed up from issues about raising of their children, finances management and how frequent they should make love
Working as a chief finance officer while her husband served as a sales rep for a construction company,Kathy believes she is the breadwinner and acted as such.
She was constantly conflicting her spouse and found less satisfaction in their marital affairs.
The six principles of being a ‘Surrendered Wife’-culled from Laura Doyle “The Surrendered Wife”
- Relinquishes inappropriate control of her husband
- Respects her husband’s thinking
- Receives his gifts graciously and expresses gratitude for him
- Expresses what she wants without trying to control him
- Relies on him to handle household finances
- Focuses on her own self-care and fulfilment
“The more I told my husband how he should be,the less he’d try. I couldn’t figure it out so I dragged him to marriage counselling. But that only made things worse.
So I went to counselling by myself and complained about my husband for more than a year. Spending thousands of dollars, only to find myself nearer divorce than when I started.
I was about to end my marriage when I picked up a book called “The Surrendered Wife” by Laura Doyle. I mean, they don’t teach us how to be successful in marriage in school and the women in my life didn’t share the secrets either.
It was incredibly humbling to recognise that I had something to do with why my marriage was failing and perhaps even why my first marriage failed. But it was also empowering.
I didn’t know I’d been disrespectful to my husband or even that I’d been controlling and critical. I thought I was being helpful and logical. I just didn’t know that respect for men is like oxygen, so no wonder my husband was no longer interested in me sexually.
I’ll never forget the day I first apologised to my husband for being rude for correcting him in front of the children, or the day I said “whatever you think” when I’d previously been extremely opinionated about what he should do.
Source: BBC Mag.
Publisher/Editor: Ayo Adams(08147091733)