Why You Should Be a Surrendered Wife- Woman narrates

​Californian woman, Kathy Murray narrates how she saved her marriage through the approach of a controversial book   called The Surrendered Wife.

Written by Laura Doyle,the book  tells women to stop nagging their partners and give reasons to treat them with more respect.

Kathy and Husband/ Pic credit: BBC

“The first time I married I was divorced by 26. I remarried at 32 but soon found myself sleeping in the guest room. My husband and I fought all the time.”

She added that conflicts stemmed up from issues about raising of their children, finances management and how frequent they should make love

Working  as a chief finance officer  while her husband served as a sales rep for a construction company,Kathy believes she is the breadwinner and acted as such.

She was constantly conflicting her spouse and found less satisfaction in their marital affairs.

The six principles of being a ‘Surrendered Wife’-culled from Laura Doyle “The Surrendered Wife”

  • Relinquishes inappropriate control of her husband
  • Respects her husband’s thinking
  • Receives his gifts graciously and expresses gratitude for him
  • Expresses what she wants without trying to control him
  • Relies on him to handle household finances
  • Focuses on her own self-care and fulfilment

“The more I told my husband how he should be,the less he’d try. I couldn’t figure it out so I dragged him to marriage counselling. But that only made things worse.

So I went to counselling by myself and complained about my husband for more than a year. Spending thousands of dollars, only to find myself nearer divorce than when I started.

I was about to end my marriage when I picked up a book called “The Surrendered Wife” by Laura Doyle. I mean, they don’t teach us how to be successful in marriage in school and the women in my life didn’t share the secrets either.

It was incredibly humbling to recognise that I had something to do with why my marriage was failing and perhaps even why my first marriage failed. But it was also empowering. 

I didn’t know I’d been disrespectful to my husband or even that I’d been controlling and critical. I thought I was being helpful and logical. I just didn’t know that respect for men is like oxygen, so no wonder my husband was no longer interested in me sexually.

I’ll never forget the day I first apologised to my husband for being rude for correcting him in front of the children, or the day I said “whatever you think” when I’d previously been extremely opinionated about what he should do.

Source: BBC Mag.

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Publisher/Editor: Ayo Adams(08147091733)

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